


bright and soft and in between

by Suicix



Series: seven over seven [11]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Background Poly, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, OT7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: Jackson just wishes he could be onstage with the rest of them again, wants to go to sleep knowing that it's what will be waiting for him tomorrow. For now, though, he has Youngjae beside him, and that makes it better.





	bright and soft and in between

**Author's Note:**

> set early on during promotions for flight log: arrival (wow, that's like a year ago now) when jackson was resting rather than taking part in performances. regular disclaimer that everyone still lives at the dorm in this series still because ot7, convenience, etcetcetc
> 
> this fic is part of a series set in canon (v late 2016/early 2017 and onwards) through which i hope to write all twenty-one different ships featuring ot7 in the background.

There’s the sound of the front door opening, and Jackson would love to be able to say that it woke him up, but he never managed to get to sleep in the first place. Not since he woke up this morning when everyone left for the day. Leaving him behind, again.

Maybe it’s not fair to put it like that. It’s not like they don’t wish he was there performing and promoting with them, and it’s not like that isn’t where he wants to be either. It’s not like it can be helped. He turns over onto his other side and tries to will himself not to think about it, but it’s the only thing on his mind, just as it has been all day. Any attempts to distract himself ended up right back where they started. He knows that he’s supposed to rest, but there’s only so much of that he can take.

Now, he can hear the others moving around elsewhere in the dorm on the other side of his door: Bambam and Yugyeom laughing as they go past and Jinyoung following, scolding them for something, his voice muffled. Jackson wishes he was laughing with them, wishes he could indignantly call after them on Jinyoung’s behalf. He doesn’t know whose side he’d be on and he doesn’t care, just wishes he could be with them to promote again. He wants the praise that Jaebum gives after a good performance, wants to be able to lean against Mark in the back of the car at the end of a long day, feeling accomplished. Wants to be able to go to sleep knowing that it’ll all be waiting for him tomorrow.

There are footsteps again, and then a knock on the door. Jackson lifts his head and sits up a bit, resting on his elbows.

“Hyung?” It’s Youngjae. “Are you awake? Can I come in?”

“Go ahead,” Jackson answers, hoping his immediate response doesn’t sound too desperate. He just wants to see someone. It’s been too quiet here, too quiet and too dark. At the same time, though, whenever he’s switched on the light or played some music, it turned the opposite: too loud and too light. It’s like he’s only able to deal in extremities when he’s in this state.

The door opens and Youngjae pokes his head inside before actually stepping into the room. For a moment, the light in the hallway shines into the bedroom until he closes the door behind him.

“It’s so dark in here,” he says, stating the obvious. “Are you feeling OK today?”

Jackson shrugs, but then realises that Youngjae can’t actually see him.

“Just the same,” he tells Youngjae, and then, “Maybe a little better,” because he knows it’s probably what Youngjae wants to hear, what Youngjae wants to be able to tell the others. Besides, now that Youngjae’s here with him, maybe it’s true.

“Good.” Youngjae steps closer to the bed, his voice getting louder as he closes the distance between them. “Hey, do you mind if we turn a light on in here? I just want to see you. It’s OK if you want to be left alone, though, I don’t mind, I’ll just–”

“Youngjae.” Jackson interrupts him, shuffling across the mattress so he can switch on the lamp on his nightstand. “It’s fine, I don’t mind. I wanna see you, too.”

With the light on, Jackson can see Youngjae’s eyes go wide, can see him starting to grin.

“Are you sure?” he wonders, and Jackson just pats the space next to him on the bed so he’ll sit down. Youngjae does, perching himself on the edge of the bed.

“Of course! You really think I wouldn’t want to? After being on my own all day?”

At that, Youngjae just shrugs, like he really doesn’t know though he’s pleased that Jackson wants to spend time with him all the same. Jackson reaches a hand out and Youngjae takes it, his skin cool against Jackson’s.

“Oh, hyung – your hand’s so warm!” Youngjae exclaims, and his other hand joins where their hands are linked together, like he wants to capture and absorb the heat for himself.

“If you’re cold, get under the covers with me.” Jackson rescues his hand from Youngjae’s grip and pulls back the duvet. “Come on.”

It takes another pat of Jackson’s hand on the sheets, but Youngjae moves into the space next to him and then they’ve got their heads against the pillows, their bodies under the blanket. They probably won’t sleep like this – Youngjae isn’t exactly ready for bed: he’ll most likely want to eat and shower at some point and then sleep in his own room – but it’s nice. It’s something Jackson’s missed.

The glow of the lamp is soft, and somehow, now that Youngjae’s here, the sheets feel softer too. Jackson moves in even closer so their bodies are touching, and Youngjae gets the hint, leaning in some more.

“We missed you today,” he says after a moment, the words a low murmur in Jackson’s ear. “We’ve been missing you this whole time.”

Jackson nods, slow. He’s been wanting to talk all day, but at that, he doesn’t know what to say. It doesn’t feel quite as simple as _I missed you, too._ He’s missed actually doing things, missed not feeling awful and guilty and sick. Missed not feeling like he’s letting everyone down, letting himself down. There’s just too much, and for the last few days, he’s been left alone to think about it.

“Yeah,” is what he eventually settles for. “I missed you guys as well.” It’s exactly what he didn’t want to say, but at the same time, he knows it’s the root of it all. It’s what he misses the most.

Youngjae smiles and squeezes Jackson’s shoulder. The touch is gentle, nothing like it sometimes is, nothing like the sharp slap of Youngjae’s hand on Jackson’s chest as they tease each other and both laugh. That has its time and place, but it isn’t now. Now is for something softer, something quieter. A different side of the two of them.

“Have you eaten yet?” Youngjae asks. Jackson should have known he’d be faced with this.

“A bit,” he says, because it’s true. He tried, anyway. Most of what he made ended up in the fridge afterwards. “Wasn’t that hungry, though.” He’s been making sure to take vitamins, and that’s something. That doesn’t make him feel like a failure. “Did _you_ eat?” He returns the question quickly so Youngjae can’t think about what he said too much, so Youngjae can’t ask anything else.

“We ate when we were out.” Youngjae’s answering for everyone and Jackson knows it, knows that Youngjae’s been saying it so he doesn’t worry about any of them, but imagining it still hurts a little. Imagining the rest of them without him, sharing food and jokes and smiles. He doesn’t like it without him, without any of them. “So, I’m pretty full now. Could probably just go to sleep.”

“Oh? In my bed with me?” Jackson can’t lie: he’d like that. It would make a change from lying here on his own, would make the night feel different from the day.

“If you want me to. And you don’t have to want me to.”

“I do want it,” says Jackson. He smiles, and after a moment, he leans in to kiss Youngjae’s cheek, letting it linger. “Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Youngjae tells him. “This is me thanking you, really. For being there for me when I was the one who was sick. You were always there, and I never had to ask. It’s the least I could do.”

Jackson almost thanks him again, but bites his tongue, stopping himself. If Youngjae says there’s no need, then he won’t, not when he has already. He thinks back to the last time they promoted, to a time when Youngjae was the one sometimes missing from the stage. To a time before that, when it was Jaebum’s space that was empty. Every time, Jackson was there. Just like Youngjae’s here now.

Instead of saying anything, Jackson just angles his head to lean it on Youngjae’s shoulder. Youngjae turns his head to look at Jackson and smiles, warm like the blankets and the glow of the light.

“If you wanna go to sleep soon,” he says, “then I need to get changed first. I can shower in the morning, but I’m not sleeping in my clothes.”

“That’s fine.” Jackson sits up so Youngjae can move. “Go ahead. I’ll be waiting.”

Youngjae gets up and heads out, presumably to his own room to change and to the bathroom to wash up. While he’s gone, Jackson pulls his hoodie off over his head. With two of them in the bed, it’ll likely be too hot to wear it. He gets back under the duvet and waits.

When Youngjae returns, he’s wearing pyjama bottoms and an old t-shirt and his breath smells of fresh, minty toothpaste. He’s beaming at Jackson again as he makes his way over to the bed.

“Hey, what if I brought Coco in to sleep here with us?” he says, but as he does, Jackson’s eyes instinctively move to the potted plant on the windowsill. Youngjae follows his gaze, his eyes widening when he realises what Jackson’s looking at. “Oh! Or, maybe not,” he continues, a little sheepish. “Don’t want her to eat another plant.”

“If she did, I’d just make you buy me a new one – _again.”_ Jackson smirks, and Youngjae lunges across to slap his shoulder before joining him under the covers again.

“Better a plant than something more permanent,” says Youngjae. He reaches across to turn off the lamp, yawning as he does, and then settles against the pillows, cuddling into Jackson. “Goodnight, hyung.”

“Goodnight,” Jackson tells him, and he lets his eyes fall shut. Sleep should be easier like this, he thinks.

Youngjae falls asleep first, but Jackson doesn’t blame him: he’s been out all day, been busy all day. Jackson just tries to relax even more, to match his breathing to Youngjae’s. Soon, he’ll be back onstage again, performing the new songs with the rest of the members. Soon, he’ll be right back where he wants to be.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading, everyone - you can also find me on tumblr @ vibetechs and on twitter @gotsevenses !!


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